Bored? What’s that?
Even before our daughter was born, I was sure of 3 things:
No screens for her
A hands-on, creative, ‘living’ education
And…banishing the word ‘bored’ in all its forms and tenses, from our lives!
Perhaps it was the influence of Kim John Payne’s Simplicity Parenting that I was reading at the time, or some divine guidance, I don’t know! But I am certainly glad about the choices we made! I see kids today who utter the much dreaded words, ‘I’m bored!’, minutes after they’ve been picked up from school. And God forbid they have 5 minutes before transitioning from one exciting activity to another…they are bored again! It’s as if knowing the word has permitted them to drop it at any second, liberally, when they are not stimulated. And where do they first learn it from? Us, the parents.
Very often, when our kids seem like they have nothing to do or when they aren’t doing anything, we intervene by posing the question, ‘Are you bored? ’ Or, if they choose to read one book over and over and play one game repeatedly, we tell them that’s boring and that they should try other things. And soon, what do you know? You are hearing, “Mommy, I’m bored!” a gazillion times a day! And you take it upon yourself to engage them in multiple activities or indulge them with more and more toys, so they aren’t so bored anymore. But does that work? Well, yeah, maybe for the duration of the new activity. And until the excitement of the latest toy wears out. What then? Well, you are back to the drawing board. And we all know it. This is exhausting.
In our family, we haven’t used the word once since our daughter was born. Not once, truly. Our daughter is now 13 and hasn’t used it in any form once. And neither has our 7-year-old son. It’s not like they haven’t heard the word before; their friends use it all the time! They have surely come across its usage in books as well. And yet, our kids don’t. And we have never consciously told them not to use the word. Because they have never even tried to!
This is probably one of the most substantial proofs of the influence of a family’s values, culture, and choices on the child. When you have invested in solidifying your family’s values and have established an environment of growth for your child, then its influence triumphs over the peers’.
Now, the big question here is: Do my kids feel bored, but they just don’t say so? To be honest, I don’t know. My daughter always seems to have something to do. She’s reading, writing, playing, drawing, painting, or having conversations with us or her brother. My son isn’t as much of a reader or writer as his sister; he would much rather play all the time! So when his sister is busy doing her own things, there are times when he chooses to do nothing. He will just sit on the couch or on the deck and think/observe. Could he be bored? Maybe! But we just let him be. And soon, we find him with a book or hear about a very interesting, profound, (and delightful!) observation that he has made! Or he might offer to help us with any chores we are doing! Easy, effortless, and enriching, if I may say so!
And this is not just restricted to the home. Our kids surprise us with how patiently they wait through long appointments, social engagements, adult conversations, or car rides. We love to travel and have done several long road trips. Remember, they have no screens! So, how do they manage to sit through 10+ hours in the backseat of a car with nothing to do? (We don’t let them read in the car). They talk, look out of the window, listen attentively to the music playing in the car, sing along, remain quiet for long periods, and take naps.
Now you know why I say parenting becomes truly effortless and enjoyable once you establish an environment of AWE!
In this case, it was simply a matter of making a choice and staying committed to it. Commit to omitting the word ‘bored’ from your lives, and you will have wonderfully happy, astoundingly patient, enthusiastically engaged kids who will fill your lives with AWE.
